Tuesday, January 15, 2008

flashback, oct. 2006 quite old post from old blog - 'fighting club' - schiz - human weakness - myself

today, i reviewed the highly-ranked movie 'fighting club'. although i have seen this movie once before, i got a completely new feeling this time. once i thought it was just a weired, attractive schiz movie with new scripting and playing style, but this time i found that i, myself, could understand the real heart feeling of schiz status. And moreover, I discover the connections between schiz and my own mental puzzles.

In my life, i always find myself cannot follow the plan that i originally fingured. initially, i count this behavior in my discrete willing power and weakness. but now, after compared with the actor in 'fighting club', i believe that the weak willing power is just a local reason, or a surface of a problem. the essential cause is from the difference between human's desires(from its nature) and the reality around oneself. once the contrast is vast and the person found that he cannot (or tough enough) to complement this contrast. They would like to choose to enhance the figure which lived in their mind, at the same time, lose themselves in the real world. And this procedure is more likely a positive feedback - they lost themselves in the end, or maybe, if not extremely bad, the condition would get worse.

so, compared with my mental problems ( or emotional or pyschological problems), i am sure that the crucial measure is to reduce the contrast, from two sides - one, be brave to do the right thing that you want to do, withouth fearness; second, realize the unnecessary imagination and illusion won't help you, in the end, this action only would bring your agony, like that in the movie, because you do not know what you are doing.

okay, the dormitory is going to cut off light. the world is real, but not miserable, if you are healthy...

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